


Just Within My Reach

by staywiththeangels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel is Claire Novak's Parent, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Claire Novak in the Men of Letters Bunker, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Jack Kline Feels, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Claire Novak, POV Dean Winchester, POV Multiple, POV Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Smut, rape mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staywiththeangels/pseuds/staywiththeangels
Summary: "The case was a disaster. The storm had come early, and now they were stuck in the hotel. Dean didn't want to be in the room, not now. Not with Cas right there. If he wanted, he could reach out, pull Cas close, hold him, kiss him, love him. But he wouldn't."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Ellen Harvelle/Bobby Singer, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters won't be as long as I want them, but please enjoy.

The case was a disaster. The storm had come early, and now they were stuck in the hotel. Dean didn't want to be in the room, not now. Not with Cas right there. If he wanted, he could reach out, pull Cas close, hold him, kiss him, love him. But he wouldn't. Dean couldn't, in all actuality. Because Cas didn't have feelings for him.

But Dean couldn't stop his thoughts. He had closed his eyes a while ago, but he was still unable to fall asleep. Aside from Cas, the chair was hard as hell, and so was the wall. 

He doubted he was going to get much sleep at all.

Sam had given them this case. A young woman had shown up dead at some local beach. Police had taken her fingerprints, her dental, vein matching, and even the shape of her ear. But she wasn't in the system. She wasn't anywhere. She was unidentifiable. To make it worse, she’d looked like she’d been torn apart by some animal

So, naturally, Sam had given it to Dean. 

The case, unfortunately, wasn't even near the bunker.

The case was in Nevada, of all places. The boys had driven further, of course, but Dean hadn’t been willing to do it this time around. Not only was it farther than Dean would have liked it to be, but the forecast had said something about a storm coming in. Cas had of course ignored it, bustling Dean into the Impala with annoyance in his voice as he got on him for taking so long.

They had been on the case for almost three days now. Three long, rainy, dreadful days. Three days Dean Winchester had been unable to solve the case.

Dean really didn't think he could go a week like this. He was already tense and his mind was already wandering. To make it worse, his mind always wandered at the most inappropriate of times. 

When they were surrounded by people, or when Cas would actually eat and he would tell his love of the food through his throat, or when he was in the middle of going over some plan to get his grace back with Sam.

God, how Dean hated how he thought about things when he didn’t need to. He hated it with everything in his body, but for some reason he loved it just the same.

And Cas...well Cas was ruining him.

And just by sitting there and being himself.

Dean wanted to open his eyes, to lean forward, to see what Cas was thinking. He wanted to talk to Cas and have him talk to Dean about the murder of the young woman.

But something held him back. Dean was _afraid_. If Cas didn't have feelings for him, he would ruin everything with just three simple words. And the last thing he needed was to ruin anything with Cas. The last thing he needed was to lose Cas. They were finally in a good place once again. 

He wasn't going to risk losing Cas at all. Not when Dean needed him the most. 

He knew he would do anything to keep Cas close to him, to know he was there, to feel his presence.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Cas was tense. 

Dean was sitting across from him, his head leaning against the vanilla wall, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted. 

He was thinking and Cas knew that. He had studied Dean for so long, he knew everything about the other man. Yet, Dean was still so foreign to him. Seeing Dean so deep in thought, Cas wanted to kiss him. He wanted to show Dean he cared for him. But he couldn't.

Cas knew that. But it didn't change anything for him. Nothing changed the way Cas would stare, taking in every aspect of Dean when he was engrossed in something, like one of the books for a hunt.

He did that now. Cas studied Dean. The other man kept creasing his brows, his nose crinkling slightly. His hand was clenching and unclenching on his thigh. Cas doubted Dean even knew he was doing it. He did it when he was thinking of things that hurt to think about.

Dean let out a sigh, and Cas jumped at the small sound. 

"Dean?" His voice was loud in the small and quiet room. Dean jumped when Cas' voice sounded, and his eyes opened, locking his dark gaze onto Cas'. 

Cas' chest tightened, but he didn't break the eye contact.

"Yes, Cas?" Dean's voice hitched.

Cas abruptly wondered what he'd been thinking about. Cas tilted his head. 

"I'm bored."

The statement was simple, but Dean pushed himself out of the chair with a grunt, moving to the kitchen that was attached to the rented side house they had here. Cas watched as Dean did the preparations for tea. 

Cas had learned a while ago he loved the taste of the bitter sweet liquid, and once Dean found out, he made it for Cas every chance he got.

He brought freshly drawn cold water to a boil in the kettle. Standing at the stove, he watched the water gain small bubbles at the surface.

"A watched pot never boils," Cas voiced - he had heard Sam say that once.

Dean chuckled, his shoulders shaking with laughter, "I've never actually believed that. I used to watch them as a kid, just to see if it was true."

Cas watched as pain took over Dean's face, "You know, it actually takes the exact same amount of time for water to boil whether or not it is being watched. The temperature is set, and the water boils slowly no matter what. Although adding salt does speed up the process, it is only an illusion of the mind for most, because they learn from a young age that the myth is true, when in all actuality, it is not."

Dean stared at him, and Cas could see some emotion on Dean's face, but he couldn't place it. He wasn’t good with emotions, and he was worse with Dean’s than with anyone else. 

"What?" Cas really didn't like not knowing things.

Dean shook his head, moving his attention back to the now boiling water. 

"The water's boiled. Probably 'cause I didn't watch it," Dean chuckled out.

Cas scoffed, watching as Dean poured the water into cups. Dean took both after he finished and walked to Cas, handing him one. 

Cas thought for a moment, holding the cup in between his hands. He leaned over and opened the book next to him. Sam had told him before that reading would help his mind focus. He had to say, the other man was right. Cas opened the book to the page he had saved and he pulled his feet up, tucking them underneath himself. 

A loud boom echoed throughout the room just as Cas started the first sentence, and Cas looked over to the window. A flash of light shot through the sky outside, and Cas could see that rain was already pelting down against the glass. 

The sound of the rain hitting the building was calming to him, and he let his shoulder relax. He heard a small intake of breath and turned, his eyes finding Dean without hesitation.

Dean was sitting in the chair opposite where Cas was, and Cas' eyes moved quickly around the other man. Dean was straight backed, his fingers gripping the arms of his chair. His face was white, and Cas saw him swallow thickly.

Cas stood quickly, moving himself to kneel in front of Dean. He put his hands on both of Dean's thighs, and Cas could feel the tremor rocking through Dean's body. This was something that had started recently. When Cas had gotten back from Purgatory, Dean had suddenly hated the sound of thunder wrapping itself around the buildings. 

"Dean?" Cas' voice was quiet, but Dean didn't seem to notice it. Another crack sounded through the room from outside, and a small whimper came from Dean as more light flashed inside the room through the window. 

Cas' eyes widened, and his own breath stuttered slightly. He didn't like this, not at all. 

"Dean?" Cas repeated himself, urgency lacing his words.

Dean's eyes seemed to fixate on Cas'. Dean’s eyes were the colour of pine - if pine could shine the way the galaxy seemed to shine - and at the moment they were tinged with light green on the outside of his pupil. 

"I still see us...in Purgatory," Dean whispered out.

Understanding shot through Cas, and he unconsciously gripped the fabric of Dean's jeans. He could hear Dean's trembling breath, feel the muscles in his leg tense. Cas was squatting in front of him, his face inches away, worry flickering over his features. 

"Dean." He uttered the name, shaking his head slightly. There were things he wanted to say that ran through his mind, but before he could even focus on just one of them Dean seemed to suddenly think of something. He pushed himself from the chair, causing Cas to half fall backwards as Dean stumbled across the carpet. 

Cas stood after a second of gathering himself, the room tipping a bit in his vision of worry, "Dean, where are you going?"

Dean didn't turn, just stopped, one of his hands wrapped around the knob of his bedroom door. 

"Bed,” he muttered, and with that one word he opened the door, slipped inside, and shut it behind him with a click that echoed through Cas' head.

God, why was Cas was so stupid. Why would Dean want to talk about Purgatory with everything that had happened after?

He had wanted to make sure Dean was okay, but what if he had pushed Dean away instead? 

Cas walked his way through the small room, his fingers touching the cold door knob. He laid down on the bed, sinking onto the mattress. Thoughts of what he should have done better flashed through his mind one by one.

He let the warmth of the room take him over as he closed his eyes, forcing thoughts of “what if” away from him. Images of Dean flashed unburdened came to mind instead - Dean sitting in his chair back at their flat, of him making tea, of him smiling softly as Cas started writing out a new song. 

Maybe sleep would overtake Cas soon. 

If he was lucky.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this update, comment and leave kudos my angels


	3. Message

I just decided a message needed to be written out for all of you interested in this story. For the moment, this story is on hold due to my mental health. It will be continued in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Kudos and Comments. 
> 
> Chapters will be uploaded whenever I can. I'll try my hardest to post one every Sunday.


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